England could be out of the European Championships by Saturday evening. Whatever.

It was during the 2006 World Cup that I had my epiphany…

I love a big score, me. I love the sort of result that used to have to be spelled out, in those pre-Jeff Stelling days, in letters on the Grandstand teleprinter, just in case you thought it was a mistake. United 7 (SEVEN) Rovers 0. I love a right hammering. I love a cricket score. I love a romp. A rout. A goalfest. Merciless crowds chanting “we want 10!” Teams turning on their party pieces. Their opponents “lucky to get nil” and a hapless goalkeeper “wishing the ground would open up and swallow him”. The sort of result that has Norris McWhirter rewriting the record books.

Following a car crash of a start to the season, Martin Jol’s time as manager of Tottenham was already numbered, and finally a defeat to Getafe in the UEFA Cup signalled the end of his reign at the Lane. Now the club is managerless and looking like a child who has lost his mum at the supermarket.

Like many, I cannot wait for the England game on Saturday. And I’m not talking about the overpaid Toni & Guy models playing Estonia. I’m talking about England’s warrior caste and their battle against the French.

So yesterday morning in Japan, Lewis Hamilton won his fourth grand prix title of the season, while uppity team-mate Fernando Alonso spun off after 26 laps.

So, there’s absolutely no way Liverpool can win the Champions League. We know this because Sir Alex Ferguson, whose team has already been eliminated, has said so.

Can us Diego Sanchezes of this world learn anything from Josh Koscheck? For those non-converts who don’t know him, Koscheck (above) is currently the most hated man in martial arts. You ask why. Firstly, he is extremely boring to watch fight. As a technical wrestler, he just lies on top of the other guy until the bell rings.